Waiting
by Strawberry-miow
Summary: What if Jesse has found what it is tying him to the earth? and what if that thing is closer than he thought? will he stay... or go? please read and review!!!


DISCLAIMER:- I do not, and will never, own the mediator. Jesse (unfortunately) belongs to Jenny Carroll/Meg Cabot *sobs* and so does susannah, Paul, Father Dom. oh, u get the jist of it?  
**Waiting**  
  
The waves were calm, caressing the rocks lightly with their swirling tendrils, air spiralling with the droplets of water causing a shower of almost invisible form to descend on the golden sand. There was a light breeze, the sand sweeping lightly against the ground in clouds of twinkling dust, the array of heavenly shades beaming from the midday sun danced amongst the shadows.  
  
I sighed.  
  
Pulling my head away from the window, I let my eyes graze the words of the book in my hands. After a while I sighed again, letting Pride and Prejudice slowly glide closed. I let the book fall onto the cushion beside me; the pink material of it reminded me of Susannah - as everything seemed to lately.  
  
I shifted my body slightly, bringing my leg up to rest on the cushion as I glanced out of the window. The long cream curtains were blowing in the wind as I shifted my gaze and let it lie on the bed, all of those happy couples walking along the beach hand in hand only made the churning in my stomach worse. It had been there, really, since the first time I kissed Susannah.  
  
Ever since that first time our lips touched its like there has been this electric current building up inside of me, ready to explode at the slightest of twitches. When I kissed her the first time maybe it was a little gratification - she'd risked her life to save mine after all. I kept telling myself it was just a thankyou.  
  
But I can only lie to myself for so long.  
  
I broke down again, kissed her in the cemetery - near my grave as a matter of fact. That time though, I had no excuse for it. It was as though everything I have felt for her since we first met came spilling out, I can still play that moment over perfectly in my mind as if it were burned there for eternity. I remember how I-  
  
A rustling outside of the door broke me from my memories and on hearing her mother`s voice echoing through the hallway I decided it best if I dematerialised. I started to let my body disperse into particles in the air when I happened to glance out of the window; the sun was dulling a little.  
  
She would be home soon.  
  
So instead I climbed out of the window, I went and sat in mine and Susannah`s spot on the roof tiles. If I were alive maybe I would be able to feel the pine needles Susannah keeps complaining about but.. Some things you can`t change.  
  
It`s funny.. Everytime I think about me being dead I can`t help but smile a little. If it weren`t for me being strangled by Diego then maybe I would never have met Susannah. I`ll have to tell him Thankyou when I see him.  
  
"Jesse?" A soft voice rung through my ears, the sound like a choir of angels singing only to me.  
  
"Jesse.. Where are you?" the voice sounded panicked, scared even. I felt a sense of upset and pain wash over me like the water over the rocks that I could see from where I was.  
  
"I'm outside Querida." I replied, I turned my head towards the open window just in time to see her climb onto the roof. Tears streaked her cheeks all the colours of the rainbow, twinkling like diamonds under the gentle glow of the daylight.  
  
As she approached me it took all of my willpower not to scoop her up in my arms and kiss away those tears, making it all better.  
  
She sat down next to me, placing her head in her hands. I couldn't take my eyes off her; my heart was ripping in two. I placed a hand on her arm, even just the feel of her skin made me-  
  
"What is wrong Querida? Is it Paul.? If he tries to-" I hated Paul Slater. Hate wasn't usually something that flowed through me; it didn't seem to have been in my blood. until I met him that is.  
  
Susannah looked up at me; her eyes were red and swollen, blurred with gathered tears. She leant her head against my shoulder; her dark hair whipping against my skin through the thin cotton shirt I was dressed in. I placed an arm around he shoulders, comforting her.  
  
"Querida?" I queried, pulling her closer to me so that she was in my arms. Her tears were falling onto my shirt, soaking parts of it through.  
  
"Jesse.. I.." She began, her voice quivering so much that tears took over, cutting her off mid-sentence. For a little while I just cradled her in my arms, I resisted the temptation of anything more though.I couldn't. It just wouldn't be right.  
  
"Jesse. you.. You have to leave." she whispered into my shirt through sobs. At these words my heart literally jumped out of my chest, was she saying she wanted me to leave her alone? Or that she wanted me to `move on` to my next life. or whatever?  
  
"Susannah I already live in the rectory.." I murmured as I buried my face into her hair, I couldn't stop my own eyes from getting a little wet.  
  
"No.." she retorted gently, what she had to say was obviously very painful for her. her arms were wrapped around me so tightly that I though she might physically bruise me - and I'm already dead.  
  
"You have to leave.." She repeated, pulling her tear-drenched face up to meet my eyes, "you have to move on.."  
  
"What?" I replied, my voice was panicked I know that. I just couldn't take in what she was telling me. she didn't want me here? That hurt more than was probably healthy. "But." I began but Susannah interrupted me.  
  
"Jesse you have to." she said, her voice was soft yet it held hidden feelings, "I'm the one keeping you here. If you don't go now you might never.." She trailed off, leaving an endless row of sobs in the place of words.  
  
It took a moment for the words to sink in but when they did. they melted straight into my heart. I felt that electricity that had been building up in me reach it`s peak, exploding into millions of little sparkles glittering around my heart.  
  
"Did Paul." I asked, knowing she`d get what I meant. She always did.  
  
Susannah nodded her head, her soft skin rubbing against my wet shirt.  
  
"Querida." I whispered but that only seemed to make her cry more, "Querida." I tried again, placing my hand under her chin and pulling her face up to mine. She looked me in the eyes and I saw the pain she was trying to hide. she wanted more than just to cry.  
  
"Querida, did you think that I might want to be here?" that made her stop whimpering for a moment. I thought I almost saw a slight smile spread across her face but I may have been wrong.  
  
"W.what do you mean?" she stammered, pulling away from me a little but keeping her arm clinging to my shirt.  
  
I sighed, smiling gently as she looked at me with inquisitive eyes.  
  
"Querida, not all ghosts are here because they want revenge or to give someone a message. some.." I began, my voice barely a whisper as her eyes looked deeply into mine as if she were looking for something within them.  
  
"Some, are simply waiting." I finished, pulling her close like before.  
  
"What do you mean waiting?" she murmured against my shoulder, "What are you.."  
  
"Love.." I said softly into her hair, "I've been waiting for love." I smiled at her softly and she returned it, but after only a second her expression faded.  
  
"You've never known.." She began, looking a little upset and it only took me a second to figure it out. Why she was upset, why she was crying. all of it. She loved me.  
  
Or at least I hoped she did. all this time.  
  
May as well find out I told myself.  
  
"Not until now.." I whispered, I leant down and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. I felt her smile and I really hoped she would put her arms around my neck and kiss me properly but.  
  
"So I guess now you'll be.." Susannah choked out, gulping at the words, "leaving.." She whispered.  
  
"Now that I've found love I." I began, my voice soft against the cool air of the early evening.  
  
"Have finished what you were here for and will be moving on now.." She muttered, each word sounded forced and dripping with pain and regret, with a lingering sensation of upset.  
  
"No." I replied, I leaned closer to her so that my mouth was barely touching hers, "I don't want to let it go" I felt her shock and happiness flow through my body like rays of light and cool waves on a walk along the beach.  
  
I pressed my lips against hers softly, feeling the desire and passion ignited in her pounding heart. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing her body to mine as I felt her arms encircle my neck. Slowly I pulled back, letting my lips slide off hers I felt her disappointment drag on like a long, cold night.  
  
I was never going to let her have any of those ever again.  
  
"Ever" I whispered and she kissed me gently, the tears in her eyes still there but this time, I felt, for a different reason. I pressed my mouth against hers urgently, the lightening inside of me crackling and exploding into an array of blue and white light in my mind.  
  
I smiled against Susannah`s lips as I felt her hands slide under my damp shirt, her hands against my skin felt so good I didn't ever want to let her go. I let my tongue glide graciously into her mouth, exploring every detail and copying it to memory. Her tongue soon joined and danced with mine in a way that I was sure was forbidden in several cultures.  
  
"I love you Querida." I murmured against her lips between kisses. I slid my hands down her back to rest on her hips; I caressed her skin with my fingertips as she too murmured "I love you"  
  
Slowly I felt her slide back until she was lying on the tiles, this time, not even mentioning the pine needles she seemed to have a problem with every other time. I felt my shirt being lifted from me as I shifted on top of Susannah, letting my hands rub against her thighs gently. I kissed her with so much force and urgency that I was afraid I would hurt her but she didn't do anything but kiss me back with that same hunger. Her hands kneading my naked back as she moved her hips, squirming slightly under me.  
  
And for a moment I glanced up, the sun was setting casting glimmering rainbow reflections against the calm ocean.  
  
"There goes the sun." I muttered as I pulled back briefly, remembering that she had to breathe.  
  
"And it's alright." she replied softly, grinning at me seductively.  
  
"Better than alright." 


End file.
